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Wonder Woman... Beautiful as Aphrodite, Wise as Athena... [entries|friends|calendar]
Joan-Seda

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[12 Apr 2009|03:55pm]
As many unhappy moments as I had in my past, it was still holds some of the most amazing memories of my life.
Today I finally came to the conclusion that it's not my past that I hate.
The thing I hate is that I can't still be living in my past.
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[07 Apr 2009|12:14am]
I don't know you..... but I want you.
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[22 Feb 2009|11:10am]
I am going to be Sally Bowles in Cabaret! Everyone needs to come and see it! :)
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Haven't written in this thing in forever. [14 Feb 2009|06:48pm]
Valentine's Day is only special for those who have someone to share it with.

Me, I, do not have someone to share it with.

Therefore, this holiday sucks.

The End.
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Weird... [16 Dec 2008|02:00pm]
It feels like it was just yesterday. It's weird to think that it's almost been a month.... It makes me sad... :-(









We're driving slow through the snow on 5th Avenue
And right now radio's all that we can hear
Now we ain't talked since we left, it's so overdue
It's cold outside but between us it's worse in here

The world slows down
But my heart beats fast right now
I know this is the part
Where the end starts

I can't take it any longer
Thought that we were stronger
All we do is linger
Slipping through my fingers

I don't wanna try now
All that's left's goodbye to
Find a way that I can tell you

I hate this part right here
I hate this part right here
I just can't take your tears
I hate this part right here

Everyday, seven takes of the same old scene
Seems we're bound by the laws of the same routine
Gotta talk to you now 'fore we go to sleep
But will we sleep once I tell you what's hurting me?

The world slows down
But my heart beats fast right now
I know this is the part
Where the end starts

I can't take it any longer
Thought that we were stronger
All we do is linger
Slipping through our fingers

I don't wanna try now
All that's left's goodbye to
Find a way that I can tell you

I hate this part right here
I hate this part right here
I just can't take your tears
I hate this part right here

I know you'll ask me to hold on
And carry on like nothing's wrong
But there is no more time for lies
'Cause I see sunset in your eyes

I can't take it any longer
Thought that we were stronger
All we do is linger
Slipping through our fingers

I don't wanna try now
All that's left's goodbye to
Find a way that I can tell you

That I gotta do it
I gotta do it
I gotta do it
I hate this part

I gotta do it
I gotta do it
I gotta do it, oh

I hate this part right here
I hate this part right here
I just can't take these tears
I hate this part right here
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[02 Dec 2008|03:12pm]
I think I miss you less and less as every day goes by.








or is that what I want to believe??
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Hey, [30 Nov 2008|08:22pm]
I was just wondering if I could have my life back.... So I could be.... HAPPY.. again?
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[18 Nov 2008|12:04am]
A Midsummer Night's Dream is opening on Wednesday night and I'm not going to lie, i'm pretty nervous. Which is somewhat bizarre for me considering I never get nervous for shows. Well, I do, but.. not like this. I think it's just because it's my first time doing Shakespeare. Hopefully all will go well.

I'm really stressed over Midsummer. But on top of that, a million other things have been bugging me. I just feel like i'm not getting 100% the way i'm GIVING 100%. I don't know. Maybe it's just me. I just want to be as happy as I used to be.
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[01 Nov 2008|11:46pm]
If you have any common sense, you'll vote for Obama.
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[12 Oct 2008|02:05pm]
I love my Edward Paul Crockett more than anything in this entire world! And nothing will ever change that. :)
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[07 Oct 2008|06:36pm]
What happened to my life?
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[30 Sep 2008|10:09pm]
Hey, remember that time Seth broke up with Summer?


....yeah, welcome to my life.

and right now... it sucks. reeal bad. but this is the only place where I will let anyone know because I know this is the only place possible where Eddie cannot see i'm heartbroken over this. I still love him so much. He will never know how much I truely do love him and how much I truely do care about him. I just don't really understand it, to be honest. It doesn't make any sense. Hopefully one day we'll be together again. But until then, all I can do is love him.



:(


sorry to be such a debbie downer. I'm just real sad...........
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[26 Sep 2008|09:12am]
So, quick update before class!

I got the role of Helena in A Midsummer Night's Dream at Middlesex! I'm soo insanely excited but it's going to be soo much to take on. I'm a little nervous for all of the lines and actually learning what i'm saying. Shakespeare is almost a whole different language. But rehearsal's so far have been good and i'm looking forward to learn more and to work on this show. Oh and I totally love all the theater kids there, so that helps a bunch.

School is pretty good. I'm trying really hard and I want to keep my good grades up. I'm actually STUDYING for once! Haha big shocker there. But i'm actually really proud of myself and I want to keep up my good work.

Eddie is away at college and i'm missing him more than ever. He's coming home in a couple of weeks in October though so I will get to see him then! I'm soo excited. I've been counting down the days. Sunday will make it one month since i've seen Eddie so it's been a long time and i'm ready to see my baby. Yesterday was our 8 month anniversary! He was so sweet. Although I didn't get to see him he still made it a special day and he sent me beautiful flowers in the mail. They made me happy aaaand I love him :)

But enough about me! just wanted to quickly fill you guys in. And now i'm going to class! see ya ;)
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[14 Sep 2008|10:27pm]
I think everyone should get Skype Chat! :)
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[11 Sep 2008|09:04am]
I feel like I haven't written much in here for awhile now. So I figured it was about time. To start off, I absolutely love my college courses. The onloy class I hate right now is Writing Class which I thought wouldn't be bad but my teacher is insanely boring and is giving us the most dry material to work with. It's nottt fun. But all my other classes are awesome. Especially my acting class! I have a few friends in a couple of my classes. Kids from lowell high. it's nice. I love that i'm catching up with old friends. I also met some new people who I love too! I think i'm going to like Middlesex a lot more than I expected. I figured i'd hate it and it;d be the most miserable time of my life, and I know I can't really tell yet after only two weeks.. but I think i'm really going to love it here. Especially the people in the theater department. I met a lot of the kids who are doing theater at MCC last night and they are absolutely amazing. It felt like I was at home. Literally, I felt like I used to feel when I'd go to peacock. It seems like it's going to be really great. I'm considering auditioning for A Midsummer Night's Dream.. not sure yet. It might be too much for me to take on right now what with schooling, and having a job, and babysitting.. so Idk we'll see. I'm definitely considering it though. My acting teacher, Karen Oster, is absolutely amazing! I friggan loveee her. She takes theater so seriously but is soo much fun at the same time soo I think i'm really going to enjoy having her as my teacher.

Other than school, I just miss all my friends... Especially my boyfriend Eddie. It sucks not being with him. He's so far away right now. But i'm going to visit him next month, at the beginning of October.. so i'm just pushing through to get to that. I can't even wait to see him!! :)


that'sss all for now guys!:)
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[26 Aug 2008|11:58am]
 I don't want summer to ever end.

and I don't want Eddie to ever leave.

:-(
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[19 Aug 2008|11:54pm]
 I remember hearts that beat yeah, yeah
I remember you and me,yeah, oh yeah
Tangled in hotel sheets
You wore me out
You wore me out

I remember honey lips and words so true
I remember nonstop earthquake dreams of you
You're coming on fast like good dreams do
All night long

Still can feel you kiss me love
Still can see your brown skin shine, shine
Still can feel you kiss me love
Come on and drive me wild me wild

And you move like water, yeah
And you broke like waves
I've never been deeper, so far gone
Your sister in the next room with the television on

Still can feel you kiss me love
Still can see your brown skin shine, shine
Still can feel you kiss me love
Come on and drive me wild
Come on and drive me wild
Come on and drive me wild

I remember hearts that beat,yeah
I remember you and me
Tangled in hotel sheets for hours

Still can feel you kiss me love
Still can see your brown skin shine, shine
Still can feel you kiss me love
Come on and drive me wild

Still can feel you kiss me love
Still can see your eyes like diamonds, diamonds
Memories are strong enough
To come on and drive me wild
Come on and drive me wild
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[16 Aug 2008|12:05am]
[ mood | eh. ]

I love this song so muchhhhh...









It's like whatever I do
Ooh
Ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, oh 


Now, now she loved me, shawty I loved her.
Used to jump up in the Maybach and roll out.
Used to care, she used to share...
The love that she used to give me can't be found.
I lost my way, she said she'd stay.
And lately I've been sleeping with a ghost!
My stock is down and out, I used to be worth my weight in gold.
That was before the great depression kicked in and rocked us.
And that was before the hurricane, came in and stopped us.
I told you to leave, but you lied to me...
When you said that, baby no worries I promise to get us back.


I know sorries, just wouldn't do it.
Her heart is obliterated, I'm tryna' travel through,
But it's like moving mountains...
It's like moving mountains... hey.
But I keep climbing and hoping things would change...
And the sky turns grey, and the water from the rain washes progress away.
It's like moving mountains...
It's like moving mountains...


Why you just leave me?
Just leave me be...
Just leave me, just leave me be...
Why you just leave me?
Just leave me be...
Why you just leave me?
Just leave me be... oh! 


She, she don't touch me, I don't touch her.
We ain't really never say a word.
I really want to give her everything she deserves.
But the bad take away the good...
She thinks that I'm full of it... arguments, always pissed, man I'm tired...
Every kiss, that I missed, girl you know I'm trying!
You never believe when I say, and I never believe it when you say...
I love you, and I shouldn't complain about it,
I should take it like a man and walk up out it.
Cause we will never be the same ey oh!
I've been standing in gas, and you have been the flames 


I know sorries, just wouldn't do it!
Her heart is obliterated, I'm trying to get through...
Got to move this mountain... yeah.
It's like moving mountains... hey.
But I keep climbing and hoping things would change...
And the sky turns grey, and the water from the rain washes progress away.
It's like moving mountains...
It's like moving mountains... 


Well baby why you just leave me?
Just leave me be, just leave me...
Just leave me be...
Why you just leave me?
Just leave me be...
Why you just leave me?
Just leave me be... oh!


I know sorries, just wouldn't do it
Her heart is obliterated, I'm tryna' travel through,
But it's like moving mountains...
It's like moving mountains... hey.
But I keep climbing and hoping things would change...
And the sky turns grey, and the water from the rain washes progress away.
It's like moving mountains...
It's like moving mountains...


Well baby why you just leave me?
Just leave me be, just leave me, just leave me be...
Why you just leave me? Just leave me be...
Why you just leave me? Just leave me be... oh!

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[13 Aug 2008|12:55pm]
 If they are really your friends.... they'll understand.... I promise......








Just prove it to me.
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[12 Aug 2008|01:18am]
 Ehhhhhh. Summer is almost over. This sucksss. I really don't want it to be over, not yetttt. I'm enjoying it way too much. I'm soo not ready for college. My first day at Middlesex is September 2nd or 3rd, i'm not sure which one, but it's definitely one of those. I'm pretty nervous. It's going to be a whole different ball game. The only good thing is, I won't be leaving home just yet, I'm living at home while i'm at Middlesex so I won't be home sick at all. I'm just reeeally reeally REEEALLY going to miss all of my friends who are leaving... and my boyfriend Eddie, most of all. He's seriously my best friend in the world. I spend all of my time with him and i'm with him almost every single day. It's going to be so weird without him when he leaves for college. He's going all the way to New York for school at Hobart and William Smith. It's gonna blowwww. Butttt, it will all be okay. I just don't know what i'm going to do when I need him and he's like, 6 hours away. Mehhh. Not really looking forward to it.

Things have been getting a little confusing lately. But I'm not naive like I used to be... well, atleast I'd like to think that i'm not... and i'm not going to let myself fall into any more traps. Everytime I think i'm about to snap, i've been good to not give in. I have an extremely happy life right now and I don't want to ever ruin it. Although, Eddie leaving for college so far will definitely be putting a damper on the perfect, happy life right now..... but i'll still have him... it just sucks that the only way of communication until he comes home is a cell phone. I guess it's just something i'll have to get used to.

I've been thinking about my past a lottt lately. And it's scary to think of how much of an idiot I used to be. Like, I honestly made myself look like a fool sooo many times. What the hellll was I thinking?! And why weren't any of my friends telling me to stoppp?! Haha... seriously, it's bad. Well, I have to give SOME of my friends credit. A few of them warned me, but I never listened.

I sometimes wonder how different my life would be if things had gone a different way. I used to think there was a way to make my life go back to the way it used to be. But then I remembered nothing will ever change... WOULD ever change unless you'd overcome the fear of your friends. That's really all it is... or was...? I honestly don't know anymore.

Anyway, enough of that emo shit.

My birthday is coming up on August 24th, and i'll be turning 18 years old!!! I'll officially be... as some like to say.... LEGAL. ;) I'll be an adult... and i'm pretty pumped about it!
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